Some days, I wonder why I should even try. Why did I bother to get myself and my children dressed? Why did I not just stick them in front of the TV with marshmallows and ignore them? They would probably have more fun that way. Why did I try to have fun, teach them, or do anything at all?
After all, it's just going to lead to Calista screaming at me because she's not cutting things out perfectly, or gluing the papers together just so, or the markers aren't coloring the way she wants.
It's just going to lead to Craig freaking out because I won't let him use all the glue on all the things, or let him throw crayons and scissors.
And, of course, them both freaking out will lead me to just break. I'll start to cry and when Calista asks what's wrong, I'll tell her, "I'm just trying to be the best mother I can be for you, but it's not working. It's not enough. I can't do it."
And then she will give me a hug and say, "Mom, I love you just how you are. You're a good mom."
And my tears won't stop, but they will change. My heart will change, moving closer to where it should be.
The goal isn't to have my children be happy. Not really. The goal is to have them be better people in the end.
And with her words, Calista is showing me that maybe, just maybe, it's working. And so I will try again.
Craig is one of the sweetest little kids I've ever known. When we took him to meet my sister over Christmas, she was worried that he'd be too active to snuggle. While, yes, he is very active and often on the move, he loves to sit in someone's lap and read or hug or just cuddle.
I love it.
He plays by himself pretty well for a 2-year-old, I think. Sometimes he will leave the room, and then I'll realize I haven't seen him in a while.
I go investigate, and he is playing trains or blocks or with the farm or something by himself, happy as can be.
Craig talks, a lot. He repeats things often, though never when you ask him to. My favorite thing (for obvious reasons) he says is, "I love you, too, Momma."
Most of the time, he will walk around with a little toy in each hand. His favorites seem to be a couple of sheep toys (like, Fisher Price), wooden trains, cars, or chunky puzzle pieces.
When he tantrums, Craig has a tendency to throw himself of the floor/ground, no matter where he is.
Pavement and carpet all the same. He lays on his tummy crying (screaming?), and resists any move to pick him up, hug him, or talk to him.
It's actually kind of funny. I usually just ignore him until he's done, and then we continue our day.
We experimented with taking the side off of his crib, which he and Calista mostly loved... a little too much.
It got to the point that they were taking two hours to fall asleep each night, mostly due to them crawling into bed together and sitting on each others face and/or pillow. So, sadly, we put the side back on the crib and all is usually quiet within 30 minutes of bedtime.
This just goes to show how different Craig and Calista are in so many little ways. Calista didn't have a temptation of an older sibling, but she also just didn't get out of bed. When she woke up for the day, she'd call out to us and we'd go into her room to find her still in her bed, as if she was in a crib. Craig definitely didn't do that...
Craig usually is a really sweet, funny kid. Sometimes he bites, hits, or throws. Sometimes he has tantrums. Sometimes I kind of want to strangle him a little... but only sometimes. Most of the time, he makes me very happy. He is my sunshine, making me happy when skies are gray.
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
I am so very glad you came into our lives two years ago, Craig-O.
You have learned and grown so much this last year. I am so proud and I love being your mother.
Kyler and Jeanette got married on the 25th of August 2007, after knowing each other for four years and being each other's rebound date. It's a healthy relationship.
