She went to bed at 9, woke up screaming at 12:30. I fed her and went back to bed. At 3, she woke up again. I know she can last longer than 2.5 hours without eating, so I gave her a pacifier and went back to bed. At 3:30, she's screaming again. I gave her back the pacifier, and stayed on the chair in her room for a few minutes to make sure she's falling asleep. She woke up again at 5, at which point I gave up and fed her. I'm hoping that this will last her until after Kyler's alarm goes off at 7. Yeah... no. She's up at 6:45, and I try to just give her a pacifier... she is not having it. So, I feed her and go back to bed. Around 8, I wake up, convinced I heard her crying, but I don't hear anything for a bit so I begin to wonder if I imagined it. Wait, nope, there it is. I get up and go into her room to discover the reason I didn't hear anything for a bit: Kyler hadn't left yet, so he was trying to quiet her without waking me. Thanks for the effort, but it didn't work. She doesn't want to calm. I feed her, again, and she doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep. Kyler stays for a little while, and we put her on the couch on one end, while I curl up on the other end... and she eventually goes back to sleep for a little while.
Last night, she started to get fussy early, so we got her all ready for bed, I fed her, and she fell asleep. We put her down, turn on the fan, and shut the door, and hope this is it for a few (maybe 6 or more? Please?) hours. An hour later, she is screaming, and a pacifier is not cutting it. Fine, I pick her up and she seems to want to eat, so I try to do that. She won't stay latched, though! I try both sides, back and forth, and she'll eat for a minute and then start to scream again. I'm singing songs to her, because that's the bedtime routine: sing songs while she nurses in the dark of her room. I sing "Nephi's Courage" because my mom said it was one of her favorite primary songs: "I will go; I will do the things the Lord commands. I know the Lord provides a way; he wants me to obey." I start bawling because I'm trying to do what the Lord commands, I'm trying to raise a family and love my daughter and she won't. Stop. Screaming! Where is this way the Lord provides? Where is my drunk Laban?
And then Kyler comes in. Since Calista's bedtime routine focuses on nursing, he can't help so much generally, at least after she's in her jammies, but he heard me crying and was worried. He takes Calista and goes into the other room with her, trying to get her to calm down as she continues to scream for the next hour. Finally, she is started to get drowsy, so he comes back in and puts her in the crib, and we shut the door and go to bed.
And, apparently, I have my answer: Kyler is my help, Kyler is the way. He is my drunk Laban.
This morning, I'm still exhausted from the last two nights. Calista slept a little better last night, only waking up twice before Kyler brought her in again. Not as good as she had been doing (why is my baby regressing?), but better than the night before. I am still so tired, emotionally more than anything. Then, I lay down on the floor next to my daughter, and she looks over at me and smiles, cooing and babbling away.
6 comments:
ha ha! Been there! Whenever sera regressed I blamed it on a growth spurt. Perhaps, that is it? I remember holding sera and singing primary songs for hours until she would stop crying it. Kindal works evenings so once or twice I had to put her in the crib and walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower so I couldn't hear the sound of her screaming for 10 mins to stay sane. But really, they do stop screaming like that eventually. After three months the crying is suppose to decrease a bit, and I've noticed that a lot of moms say that once they start crawling they calm down even more. It was true for little Sera. Just hang in there.
Im so sorry. I have totally been there. I would sing "I am a child of God" and would cry cause I didn't feel like a very kind or dear parent. Especially when all i wanted to do was walk away and go to sleep. It does get a lot easier, hang in there. Its kinda crazy that after having crappy nights, and being at the end of the rope that they can look up at you, smile, and make every thing else seem insignificant. Get some rest while you can! You are a good mom and have a little angel!!
sorry that comment was from Hilary, not Zacho!! haha!!
I had a moment like that two days ago - baby's been stuffy and she has acid reflux and she just didn't want to be put down, and at the end of the day I asked her if she wanted a nap because Mommy just wanted a nap... and started crying. But then I picked her up again and she looked at me, cute as can be. At least if their manners can be frustrating, they are so darn cute, right?
Oh, Betty. I wish I could fly myself there RIGHT NOW. Sigh. Do you know of anyone working on teleportation? 'Cause I could use some of that right about now.
I love you, and Kyler, and even your little stinkbug.
Buck up little camper. You can do it. Babies aren't supposed to be easy. Now you will be prepared for the next time she regresses. I was a crying sobbing hysterical mess with Lilia. This time around I just laugh. It's not that Ivy is any better or easier than Lilia, but your perspective changes. Calista is a WONDERFUL baby and you have a lot to be thankful for.
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