The Police Beat never fails to make me laugh.

Wow. I'm officially done with classes... forever? Or at least my undergrad. Now, all I have left is... 3 finals and a 10 page (single spaced) paper. (Would it be "all I have left are..."? Because that sounds kind of funny.)
One of those finals, I'm definitely not worried about. The professor said it'd take about 10 minutes and we could bring our significant others... not exactly stress-worthy. That entire class hasn't been stress-worthy, though. I learned a lot, but in a way laid back setting. How great is that?
Normally, when I write a paper, I write it in single space, and then ::poof!:: I double space it, and it's twice as long! Magic! But since this paper is supposed to be single spaced, I am writing it in size 6 font, .8 spacing (the tops of the letters are not cut off at that point, though they are at .75), and with the margins about .3" all around. I'm a bit of a freak, I know, but... it'll make me feel good when a single page turns into three.

I still don't have a job, but I don't know what more I can really do than what I've already done. I guess all I can do now is keep praying, and searching for new openings...

Loradona, I have a present for you. They had a Best of the Police Beat for this semester, and it really was pretty good. So, this is what the Provo Police do all the time. Well, they are wedged between a mountain of crime and a mountain of...
Sept. 16: Residents of Taylor reported three males making noise and pounding on their windows, including one dressed in a Spiderman costume. Police discovered they were residents from May Hall. The students explained they were bored and looking for something to do. Sounds like freshman to me...
Sept. 17: A female walking near Maeser Hill reported seeing a middle-aged male with shoulder-length blonde hair wearing nothing but tennis shoes and baseball cap. The man was gone when police arrived. Scandal!
Sept. 27: A student and her roommate were walking by Miller Field when they noticed a possibly unclothed man in the shadows. They reported that he was an estimated 300 pounds but were unable to estimate his age. He told them "hello." At least he was polite.
Sept. 30: Female students in Helaman Halls complained about a man in a gorilla suit attempting to scare students near the Cannon Center. When police arrived, there was no sign of either the complainant or the gorilla. Students complained again early Oct. 3 about a man in a gorilla mask. The gorilla has not yet been identified. The gorilla man is getting an even bigger kick seeing his stunt in the paper.
Oct. 8: A concerned observer reported a suspicious male in the HBLL quad at 5:45 p.m. When police questioned him, he said he was Free Running, a game where people run fast toward the corners of buildings or other structures and attempt to climb them without assistance and flip or jump. The suspect was a 26-year old male visitor who said he'd learned of the game through YouTube. Police directed him to go Free Run somewhere else. That's right, BYU police's motto: GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Oct. 18: A female resident of Wymount Terrace called in a suspicious phone call in which a man made statements with the intent of hypnotizing the student. The student said she does not remember most of the conversation, but she called him her master. Police say it is virtually impossible hypnotize someone over the phone. No, this wasn't me, Master. Stop thinking it was.
Oct. 25: BYUPD received a phone call at 7:49 p.m. reporting loiterers at the gazebo at the Alumni House. Upon arrival, police discovered a group of students composing poetry. I think this one is my personal favorite! What criminals!
Nov. 1: Police received a call concerning screams and pounding coming from a room in the Maeser Building. Police investigated and discovered the screaming man was a custodial worker watching the game between Texas and Texas Tech., and was upset about his team's loss. Well, football is heartbreaking sometimes.
Nov. 6: Officers responded to a call concerning a disorderly person in the atrium of the HBLL. The subject at issue was wearing a red shirt, a scarf around his neck, a red mask around his eyes and holding several roses. He was holding a sign that read, "Ask me for...A-Hug, A-Rose, A-Hand, A-Date, A-Nything else." When officers told him he wasn't allowed to solicit in this manner, he continued to argue and told them he wasn't going to stop. Officers then explained that he may be arrested for disorderly conduct but he said he had diplomatic immunity and could not be arrested. When officers told him that it is necessary to receive permission from the dean of student life to demonstrate on campus, he agreed to follow through with the dean and left the area. I want diplomatic immunity when I do something crazy!
Nov. 7: Police received a call from the assistant principal at a private school in Salt Lake County. A fourth-grade student had told the assistant principal his dad was making a bomb in the garage to blow up the BYU football stadium. Following immediate investigation, police discovered the child wasn't telling the truth. Wow, a 4th grader not telling the truth... that never happened when I was in school!
Nov. 9: A female student was reported missing for two days. It turned out the student had been staying with a friend and had failed to inform her roommate. Way to go, Ace. Next time, tell your roommates?
Nov. 17: Police responded to a call reporting suspicious individuals with red paint. It was subsequently determined that these individuals were paint contractors who were painting a fence on campus. This was shortly before the BYU v Utah football game, in the caller's defense.
Nov. 25: A student reported a theft that had happened three weeks earlier. The student said he went into the bathroom, and when he came out his backpack was gone. The backpack contained a packed lunchbox, a fork and a bus pass. Three weeks, eh? I bet the lunch wasn't worth eating anymore.
Nov. 28: Police received a complaint about a man with a rope on the east side of the library attempting to lasso people as they walked by. The man was gone when police arrived. Too bad he wasn't on the west side, where the big Indian statue is. Then he would've just been playing Cowboys and Indians!
Nov. 30: A student employee's mother called BYU police after her son had not returned home from work when she expected. Police checked on the student's workplace where they found the student was still working. Just chill, Mom. He's fine.
Nov. 30: Another student's mother called police after she tried calling her son and could not get a hold of him. Police went to the student's dorm, and found the student, who said he was surprised his mother would call BYU police. The student was fine and promised he would call his mother right away. Seriously, some women need to cut the apron strings...
Dec. 7: A student reported talking to a man with a chainsaw on the north side of the Wilkinson Center. The man said he was going to "cut him a Christmas tree." Officers never found the suspect. The Christmas trees in the Wilk are fake... good luck with that.

And, that is all. Back to work on my essay.

Currently listening to Coldplay "Warning Sign."